I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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