mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
