You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
