remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize