just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My pussy is not your playground.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
