I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
