I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
How's work?
Spinning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
