awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
honey bunches of taint.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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