we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
