Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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