The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
