I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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