Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She announced her abortion via fbk
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
