I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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