You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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