bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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