I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
and you fell through a lawn chair
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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