i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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