who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
