i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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