That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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