if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
