Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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