Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
