I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
