some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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