5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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