A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
