I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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