i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
