You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
