I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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