test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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