It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
