YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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