So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
