The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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