What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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