Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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