Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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