My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we made out on top of his cat.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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