You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
