You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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