Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize