I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize