You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He shit in the fireplace
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
