Nicole vs. Life
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
