I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So much rum. So many feels.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
