I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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