some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i drank out of a bidet.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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