I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
