Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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