i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your cock deserves a montage
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
