if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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