last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
