Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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